Village Voices - We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks

OK, in case you haven’t noticed, I am not too big on fashion. In fact, I couldn’t care less about it. When it comes to clothing, my top priorities are comfort and function. And the two are very different.

For example, while I would much rather wear a short sleeved shirt in the summer, I don’t wear t-shirts much for one simple reason – I need a shirt pocket to keep my phone handy.

Now, many would simply say – why not put your phone in a pant pocket – but when you are as large as I am, not only does this put undue strain on the phone itself, but the bigger headache is having to...