Village Voices - We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks

I admit it, cooking has never been one of my strengths.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Is this going to be another one of your stupid columns where you try and make excuses for yourself?”

“Hi honey, nice of you to stop in.”

“Don’t ‘Hi honey’ me. I have sat back and said nothing every time you come across with some lame excuses for why your inherent laziness is perfectly acceptable. But I’m drawing the line here.”

“I’m not lazy.”

“I had to buy you slip-on shoes because you didn’t want to bend over to tie them!”

“That’s just being conservative. How many times do...