Lighter Side

Just remember, cows wear belles because their horns don’t work.

Calories are the little buggers that get together at night in your closet and sew your clothes tighter. My closet is infested with them.

Never lose yourself while trying to hold on to someone who doesn’t care about you.

Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.

Have you ever noticed that the people who tell you to calm down are the ones who pissed you off in the first place?

If I manage to survive the rest of the week, I would like my straight jacket in hot pink, and my helmet to sparkle.

A woman’s...