Village Voices - We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks

Family Vacation – Where you remember why your family never spends time together.

I think I freaked out the TSA Guard at the airport when I asked him if I chose the “enhanced pat-down” instead of the full-body scan, did that come with some Barry White music and a nice glass of merlot.

A good family vacation is when nobody returns in a body bag, and it only takes two weeks for the kids to start liking each other again.

Ah, the beach! Sunning, swimming, snacking … and the chance to drive home in wet shorts full of sand.

The very best vacation is the one your boss takes.

Coming bac...