Village Voices - We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks

If my relationships were any more of a joke, I’d be dating the chicken that crossed the road.

The most important part of any relationship, is the first open fart.

You know that crucial moment on a first date when you realize you’d rather be home watching tv with your cat?

Marriage is … always having someone to pity-laugh at your jokes.

I don’t know where my prince charming is, but I’m already prepared for our first fight because he is super late.

I was excited about my blind date with a man in uniform … until I found out he’s a Boy Scout Den Leader, and he wore the shorts...