Village Voices - We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks

He told me I was so good at multi-tasking that they were going to fire me in phases.

I thought it was a myth but it’s true – when you’re fired, your whole resume flashes before your eyes.

Everybody else at my company was laid off due to the slowing economy … I was just fired.

You know you’re getting fired when they bring you into an office you’ve never been in before, and it’s nearest to the exit.

Let’s celebrate your new job promotion by doing something that can get you fired.

Oh, I’m sorry. I had no idea that doing both your job and mine would be reason to complain...