Village Voices - We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks

Unfortunately Mr. Stevens, your HMO won’t cover the cost of anesthesia, so we’re going to have to use our low-budget procedure to put you out … it’s called a hammer.

We’ll give you helium. It won’t kill the pain, but when you scream it’s funny.

By golly, this cavity is so deep I’ll have to get at it by going through your ear … just kidding.

At my age, the only thing I purchase that’s two-piece are dentures.

Yes, I floss regularly – right before every dental appointment.

No, your dentist did not say that bacon and soda work just as well as toothpaste. He said bakin...