March 30, 2022
When I’m an old man, I’m going to leave snacks in little bags on the floor all over the house in case I fall down.
According to the Kraft Mac & Cheese box, I’m a family of four.
I look really good with a pizza box.
I’m going to petition the government to declare cold pizza a legitimate breakfast.
Bread puns happen when you yeast expect them.
I don’t talk to ice cream, but could be convinced with ice cream.
Ask not what you can do for your country … ask what’s for lunch.
Sometimes, it’s better to be alone. Especially when you have chocolate.
DIET stands for Did I Eat...