Village Voices - We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks

Will you text your mom and ask how long it takes to microwave a 25 pound turkey?

For once we're going to have a happy family Thanksgiving. I'm stuffing the turkey with Prozac.

He doesn't drink these days. Apparently, he's allergic to drugs and alcohol – he breaks out in handcuffs.

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"

Well the small towns in the region are all putting up their Christmas decorations, and you know what that means ... Thanks giving is coming.

If you're ever bored, jus...