June 30, 2021
Remember kids, don't play with fireworks ... let the adults who have been drinking all day set them off.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.
"I don't know why my firework party was a complete disaster," Johnny said. "They all worked just fine yesterday."
Fireworks! Because who really needs all ten fingers?
Firecrackers are too dangerous dear. We'll celebrate the Fourth by making our own firecrackers. We'll put spicy jalapeno and cayenne pepper dip on whole wheat crackers.