Village Voices - We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks

What if this quarantine is just the aliens fattening us up before the big harvest?

If you see me talking to myself this week – don't worry – I'm having a parent/teacher conference.

I just Clorox wiped a bottle of Purell, then Purelled my hands because I touched the Clorox cannister ... How far down a rabbit hole does this go?

The officer said, "Your staggering." I answered, "You're quite handsome yourself." We just laughed and laughed ... I need bail money.

When I yell at my dog to stop barking, I wonder if he's thinking, "This is awesome! We're barking together!"

I think I've figu...