The Lighter Side

I’ve been saving for my retirement. I only have $900 so far, but I do have 250,000 little packets of sugar, ketchup and crackers.

I plan to retire on Friday and I haven’t saved a dime … here’s the chance for my investment planer to become a legend.

In financial news today, stock holders sought safety in treasuries, treasury holders opted for high-yield bonds, and bond holders fled to growth stocks.

Money can’t buy happiness. You also need high-yield stocks, prime real estate, and a solid credit rating.

My investment club has been meeting for four years now. So far we’ve invested...