Village Voices - We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks

I hate mosquitoes just like everyone. But I love the fact that their presence allows me to slap anyone, at any time, for no reason at all.

"Wow, my first flight was great dad," the young mosquito told his father. "Everyone was clapping for me."

The definition of a golden opportunity: When a mosquito lands on your spouse's cheek!

I once had a pet centipede that I trained to fetch me things, but it always took so long waiting for him to put on his shoes.

What's that mosquito doing staring at the stain on the wall? Oh, he's just visiting his father's grave.

No wonder spiders have a comple...