Village Voices - We don't write papers, we build scrapbooks

You see that drunk guy over there? Ten years ago he proposed to me and I rejected him. I just can't believe that after all of this time, he's still celebrating.

Here's another secret for success: If you get caught sleeping on the job, slowly raise your head and say, "In Jesus name, Amen."

A baby's laughter is the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear ... Unless it's three in the morning, you're home alone, and you don't have a baby.

I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me." So, I put it under my arm, walked...